


My Dearest Holmes

by beltainefaerie



Series: Requited [3]
Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Bisexual John Watson, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Recovery, References to Depression, neither John nor Sherlock are terminally ill, reference to imminent spousal death, reference to terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beltainefaerie/pseuds/beltainefaerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the morning of his wedding, Watson stopped by to entreat his friend to put aside his opinions on this 'sentimental rubbish' and attend, but instead made a most upsetting discovery at Baker Street. The empty bottle and Holmes passed out beside it told their own tale, but the letter on the table revealed more. This is Watson's response.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Dearest Holmes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Dear Watson](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6577816) by [HumsHappily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumsHappily/pseuds/HumsHappily). 



> With thanks to HumsHappily, who let me respond to her tragic 'My Dear Watson' with this. I can enjoy angst but I'm a sucker for requited love and happy endings when possible. 
> 
> With respect to poor Mary, please remember that she does die in canon and John will do his best to make her happy first. (Neither Sherlock nor John are ill, if that makes a difference to you)

_My Dearest Holmes,_

_I do hope you will forgive me. I have taken the liberty of destroying your letter, lest it fall into the wrong hands. It wounds me that I cannot myself be at your side, but you know me to be a man of my word, and I must honor it. Of course I forgive you this attempt, for truly I know not only the depth of your dark moods, and the way I must have wounded you, all unknowing and unthinking, but I also know the state I was in myself before you found me and brought life and light back into my world. I came home a broken man and you have truly mended me in more ways than even you could know._

_Please know as you recover, (and you will recover for me, won’t you, my dear Holmes?), that while I have always been pleased to call you a friend, that word does not cover the depth of our association. I too have been keeping secrets, and somehow even from the most observant of men, I fear. Please forgive me, both for not confiding in you and for not allowing you to carry out your wishes, however, I do hope that you will find I was in possession of necessary facts which, for once, you did not have.  
I thought you must know and chose to hide my shame, allowing me to appear “normal” as you put it, though I might say conventional. Truly a man as brilliant as you can see that we are merely in the wrong time and place. I suppose, as you believe the fairer sex are my area, and since there is not even a word to describe how I truly am, you are to be forgiven for missing the truth. Your feelings are indeed reflected in my own heart. That must be stated above all, and I do hope to accomplish the telling of it and more, in person. Truly my heart is more full than I should dare to put to paper. As you read this, do not fear you must temper your reaction, for you are in safe hands with Dr. Troudeau. He and I were friends in medical training and quite close. There is nothing you could say that would cause any concern on his part._

_The next secret is one I should not have kept from you, my dear man, and if you had been able to bear any more time in her company, I am sure you would already have deduced it for yourself. My Mary is indeed as you describe, loving, full of wit and humour. What she is not, dear Holmes, is well. I do love her, but our wedding and this honeymoon are but the granting of a last wish for a dear girl who should have had much more in this world. It will be a miracle indeed if she survives our European tour, but she wanted a life, with as much normalcy as she could have, before it ends. I thought you would think such a match foolhardy and possessed of the worst kind of sentimentality. Not knowing your own feelings, I truly had no understanding how it would wound you and I am forever sorry. I will be gone from Baker Street for this time, but not forever, I hope, should you wish to have me. I can think of no better retirement than beekeeping in Sussex. Think of it not as sentimental fantasy, but a fine measure of planning for the future. And if there is any comfort to be found in this tragedy, I do believe a widower and a bachelor will draw less unwanted attention than two bachelors._

_I hope you are willing to receive my letters while I am abroad, as I do intend to write. Dr. Troudeau has our full itinerary should you wish to reply._

_Most sincerely yours,  
John Hamish Watson_


End file.
